BRAINSKIP 23 – FREE THE BEAST!

In a week when the UK’s services are getting cut to shreds and George Osborne is promising to unleash his inner Hawk in terms of looking at costs and fuel and all sorts of other elements that do not resemble mice in any way, it felt like the right time to do an animal friendly BrainSkip. We’ve already had St. Patricks Day this month, celebrating his ridding the country of snakes. Of course, a little known fact is that were only three snakes in Ireland in the first place. On top of that, the Celtic Tiger has finally been beheaded and mounted on a wall, with another begging letter sent to the IMF for more Bailout Money. But nothing touches the story of a dog who survived the Japanese Tsunami and refused to abandon his injured friend. Let’s hope the EU does the same for Portugal.

BAND OF DOG BROTHERS

I’m not sure what’s more amazing, the inability of the camera crew to realise that the other dog is alive and that he needs help or the patience of the original dog with the insensitivity of this particular crowd of camera-toting idiots. Thankfully the story had a happy ending and both dogs are doing well and have book deals.

PENGUINS ON A PLANE

No, it’s not a sequel to that oft derided and yet secretly appreciated Samuel Jackson vehicle Snakes on a Plane.( Can we ever forget, what is it with these Motherfracking snakes on this motherfracking plane). Of course, Samuel was also famed for his recent part played in the audio recording of the bible by various African-american artists. And yes, he did play God. Book of Genesis was particularly interesting. What is it with these Motherfracking snakes in this Motherfracking Garden.

It is in fact an actual clip of a penguin being allowed to take a walk down the aisle of a flight in America (Once he was cleared of security, you’ve no idea how easy it is to hide more than 100ml of liquids or pastes under those wings) Why this took place, I have no idea. Maybe there’s a share a dream, make a wish, foundation for penguins. Maybe he just wanted to be picked up. Whatever it is, it was worth the opening gambit from one of the passengers, apparently National American Understatement Champion 3 years running. “Now there’s something you don’t see every day”.

CHRISTIAN THE LION

As a grown man in an ever changing society, it’s often my duty to prove manly qualities such as my ability to watch a clip of a Lion re-uniting with his owners 10 years after they set him free with completely dry eyes. Unfortunately, the test was deemed to be moot and inaccurate as a piece of hot metal got in my eye just as I was watching the clip, causing my eyes to water. It was an unfortunate aberration in what was otherwise an interesting experiment. I have been unable to watch the clip again under strict health guidelines.

THE THREE LIONS FAIL

Ok, so it’s a stretch to call the English Rugby Team the three lions, but I had to find some way to squeeze in the English Ad with their winning Grand Slam shirts, which was a little bit premature. When I say a little bit, I mean wayyyyyyy premature. Here’s a remake of the ad with some of the Irish players balancing things out a little bit.

KITTEN SQUIRRELS

I once dreamt I was a squirrel, which was a bit nuts, (boom, boom) but not as nuts as this cat taking on the role of mother squirrel. Very sweet. Yet very bizarre.

THE GOPHER – THE FUNNIEST OF THEM ALL…

Forget your kittens, your puppies, your Tigers, the original funny cinematic wee beastie has to be the Gopher from Caddyshack. OK, so he had help with Bill Murray as a sidekick, but he holds his own with one of the best comedy actors before he became hangdog funny. Go the Gopher!